| emptiness |
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| 01:46pm 01/07/2009 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Beck - Golden Age
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feeling the absence of something right now, but not really sure what.
today is the happiest day in someone's life. don't think today is doing it for me, but wouldn't it be funny if it were? |
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| new page |
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| 11:18am 12/06/2009 |
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mood:  rejuvenated music: Tsewer Beta - Marl 1 (you'll never guess remix)
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totally single for the first time in a long time.
surprisingly (shockingly?) okay about it.
at least 99% of the time.
wondering what the future holds. |
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| some days |
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| 03:26pm 07/05/2009 |
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mood:  indifferent music: OneRepublic - Tyrant
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i wish that i were still a student, or didn't have a full-time jobby job.
today isn't one of those days, but it's close.
really, i'm wishing that business attire = sweatpants. |
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| have job offer, will travel |
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| 07:38am 21/02/2009 |
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mood:  sleepy
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got my first real permanent job offer, in dallas, yesterday.
so little miss subversive and i are taking a field trip this weekend to the big d. woot woot!
hopefully we will both have memorable (positive) experiences this weekend--last time i was there, i was 3. she says she was 6.
we were supposed to leave at 7am. that's obviously not happening...hope it doesn't portend not-well for our journey! |
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| i is so lucky. |
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| 01:53am 07/02/2009 |
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mood: happy
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i have awesome friends who make me go out and dance when i am being lame. i finally know how to play puerto rico, and apparently i did not bomb my interview today! woo woo! |
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| some thoughts about new years |
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| 12:35am 23/01/2009 |
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mood:  hopeful
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-i cannot get over how much i've accomplished in some ways (in the eyes of others), and what is extremely lacking in my life in other ways. i spent new years eve at a party w/6 other couples, all of whom are married (save one guy who was there w/his current girlfriend; he was married, had 3 kids, and got divorced by the age of 27), all of whom have kids (save one), and all of whom met each other through high school or church or other nearby connections. really puts things into perspective.
-it's not always easy, but sometimes it pays to sit back and recognize less-than-mainstream-or-normal expressions of love and affection. ex: somehow it wasn't terribly creepy when the motorcycle ex's father came over to me, told him that "he has such pretty friends" and then patted my head while complimenting my hair.
-conversely, it's possible to be selfish in subtle, less-than-obvious ways.
-i have really got to learn how to not put things off as long as i do.
-giant jesus statues are sort of creepy.
-somehow it is always easier to be direct and forceful when advocating action on the part of one's friends, than when faced w/a similar situation on one's own. do as i say, not as i do?-ish.
as a new year begins, and a new era in politics too (hopefully), may we all work on being better individuals, and better friends to one another. |
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| proof that i've actually graduated |
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| 04:46pm 08/01/2009 |
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mood: happy
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Date: Thursday, 8 Jan 2009 16:19:02 CST
From: lawtech@mail.law.utexas.edu
To: me
Subject: Law Mail Status
This message requires no response.
To: Lee, Grace Y
Your "Law Mail" record has been updated due to your graduation status.
Your subscriptions have been turned off. If you wish
to continue receiving correspondence from the Law School,such as the
CSOs Law mail that includes the "Jobs of the Week", you must
resubscribe to those lists.
https://utdirect.utexas.edu/lochat/prof.WBX
If you have any questions or comments,
send them to: lawtech@mail.law.utexas.edu.
01/08/09 1610022
LON$MAIL: LOMAIN - MU
happy new year! will post something about the holidays/grand tour of OK/AR later. |
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| in houston for thanksgiving |
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| 02:12am 27/11/2008 |
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mood:  awake
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and for some reason i can't fall asleep.
i miss my DVR. all i need is the soothing sound of stephen colbert's furrowed-brow antics to lull me to somnolence...
instead, i'm thinking about how friggin expensive it will be to take the CA bar:
-registration as a law student: $92 ($166 atty)
-app to take the CA bar: $529 ($769 atty), $50 late filing fee if filed by 12/1, $250 late filing fee if filed by 1/15
-fee for moral character determination: $431
-admission certificates: $69
-SCt enrollment fee: $5
this isn't counting the various other fees that i couldn't make any sense of (and excludes me using a laptop or having to appeal anything). add on ~$4000 for barbri on ipod, and however much my plane tix and hotel room and rental car will cost in feb.
PStrategies needs to hire me, stat! instead of just extending my fellowship. |
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| i am impatient |
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| 10:45pm 11/11/2008 |
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mood:  mellow music: the colbert report
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and cut out two of my stitches already. i feel very accomplished!
and hope i don't end up w/a massive infection that makes my whole hand rot off or anything... |
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| a pretty good week thus far |
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| 10:36pm 07/11/2008 |
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mood: happy music: John Mellencamp - Walk Tall
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-on the mishap of halloween 2008: i think i am finally regaining sensation in the tip of my right index finger. so maybe it won't fall off after all! waiting on my hospital bill to come in the mail...eek.
-on my incredibly awesomely horrendous ordeal of summer 2008: i passed the bar! by a whole 21 points! but as they told us in barbri, and as SEP proclaims: a score higher than 675 = you studied too hard.
-on food gluttony: i've now had roy's molten chocolate cake not once, but TWICE in the past month. delicious. ONWARD TO WURST FEST TOMORROW!
-oh, and on political things: yay barack obama! and those sillies in SF. can't say that they didn't try to "honor" the outgoing president... |
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| on responsibility |
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| 11:28pm 19/10/2008 |
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mood:  indescribable
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it will "never be the right time" for some things. but does that mean that we never do them? a part of growing up, of becoming adults, is acknowledging that we will have to do things that we don't want to do--at that particular moment, or ever.
whether it is bailing out Wall Street b/c too many idiots made stupid decisions (not just the banks), or having serious conversations, it's what we're supposed to do b/c no one exists in a vacuum, or is an island like that oft-quoted John Donne line.
this goes also for the other side of the equation, for those individuals or interested parties who allow the shirkers to keep on shirking their responsibility. they share in the blame.
i refuse to be the tired old prospector who keeps on treating my cantankerous and ornery mule to carrots and sugar cubes! |
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| diet diet diet |
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| 02:08pm 05/10/2008 |
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mood:  relaxed
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i need to go on one.
if only i could have smoothies for breakfast and shredded wheat for lunch every day.
somehow i think i would get funny looks in the office kitchen if i were operating my magic bullet in the morning, tho. |
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| finally finished |
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| 12:11pm 20/08/2008 |
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mood: okay
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idiot first reader took his time signing my forms. and he dated one wrong, but WHO CARES? THEY TOOK IT AND I'M FINISHED.
-cost for registering for in absentia graduation at the law school: $25
-cost for registering for in absentia graduation for the LBJ school: $25
-cost of parking ticket for overrunning a meter (that i had no change for) at the graduate school, so that i could turn in my PR and apply for in absentia graduation for the LBJ school: $15
finishing my requirements for graduation: PRICELESS. all that's left is to turn in a copy to the LBJ school, but i will do that after i get back.
what still sucks:
-that $65 i shouldn't have had to pay
-the fact that if i pass the bar, i won't get sworn in w/everyone else in november and i won't be able to apply for state jobs until i graduate and get licensed, in december
-my diploma will say december 2008
-my first reader is still an asshole
i'm still considering filing a complaint against him. when i get back from albuquerque, i'm going to go talk to the UT ombudsperson. |
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| of course it would happen this way |
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| 06:35pm 15/08/2008 |
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mood:  enraged
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my first reader is an asshole.
timeline:
7/18: i send my readers my first draft.
i study for the bar (not enough).
7/31: i check in w/them, to gently remind them that their 2wks is almost up. tell them that i am about done w/the bar exam, and will start working on the PR again. also remind them about the 8/15 deadline. i tell them i will try to have edits by 8/8.
-reader 2 responds. says he'll get something to me in the next few days. gets me comments w/in 12hrs. wants substantial work.
-reader 1 responds. says he forgot about my PR, can i resend it?
-i resend to reader 1.
8/4: reader 2 gets me comments, says this is pretty close to finished for him. makes some suggestions.
8/11: i send both readers a second draft. i make reader 2's changes, and don't do all of reader 1's changes b/c i don't think they're all appropriate. tell them to let me know about comments ASAP and to let me know how to get in touch w/them for final signatures.
8/12: reader 2 responds. says things are closer. asks for more edits. tells me that if i get him a draft and the forms by thu 8/14 COB he will sign them.
-reader 1 responds. says that he wants the changes i thought i had explained i wasn't going to make. wants me to highlight the portions of text i changed.
8/13: i send reader 1 a draft w/his changes.
-i send reader 2 an email about signatures, and a copy of reader 1's draft.
8/14: i send reader 2 his draft.
-i send reader 1 an email asking if he wants to see the draft i sent reader 2.
-reader 2 approves and signs my forms.
-i send reader 1 an email telling him reader 2 approved. i ask for comments, and want to know when i can meet him tomorrow to get his signature if he has no changes. i attach reader 2's draft.
8/15: reader 1 responds. he tells me that i am disrespectful and impolite for putting things off until the last minute and then asking for immediate response. he says he is busy and won't have time to look at my draft.
I DON'T FUCKING GRADUATE. I DON'T FUCKING TURN EVERYTHING IN.
right now the graduate advisor is working w/me for my next option, graduation in absentia. unless reader 1 fucks up again. |
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| i think i'm done |
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| 01:10pm 14/08/2008 |
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mood: hopeful
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let's see what my readers think. fingers crossed!
maybe i'll do some laundry. i think my laundry pile is about to eat my bathroom. |
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| this could be a really obvious realization |
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| 10:11pm 10/08/2008 |
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mood:  guilty
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it seems like a lot of the major cities in the upper midwest/border w/Canada are RIGHT on the border. i can understand there being major cities on the US-Canada border, like Buffalo NY, Detroit MI, and Toronto ON for instance, but why is Chicago so close to IN? Milwaukee so close to IL? Dubuque? Cincinnati?
did they develop before or after state lines were drawn? is it just a whole lotta rivers?
maybe i should've thought this post through.
...and...
i should be working on the second draft. back to it then... |
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| the high point of my day |
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| 11:23pm 05/08/2008 |
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mood:  worried
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was my run in the 90-degree humid heat in the early evening. i was hoping that it would rain, but there wasn't much more than a few sprinkles.
working working working towards a second draft by this friday. my readers were good enough to make turnaround w/comments w/in 12hrs (second reader, subject matter expert) and 48hrs (first reader, LBJ prof). the second reader has serious issues w/my draft (and i understand why, i had the same doubts about the direction that my analysis was heading) but the first reader thinks that things are pretty much hunky dory. he just wants a table here, a paragraph there, etc.
can i get this done? i don't know. and i have a wedding to go to on friday evening. and the dress i want to wear doesn't quite fit b/c my...um...assets grew again.
things will work out in the end, or at least that's what everyone says, right?
EDIT: first reader actually took 72hrs. |
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| i'm sure today could get a hell of a lot worse |
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| 04:46pm 31/07/2008 |
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mood:  irate
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but i feel really fucking crappy RIGHT NOW.
i've been up for about 36 hours. and i'm pretty sure i failed the bar. i haven't felt this bad about an exam since, i don't know...the physics or calc AP exam in high school. or the chinese SAT II. also in high school.
three days of absolute torture. i have not felt like such an incredibly stupid complete waste of space idiot w/shit for brains in a long time.
oh, and my readers? one of them hasn't gotten around to reading my draft yet. the other one lost it. i just emailed it to him again. nevermind that tomorrow was supposed to be the day they got comments back to me, after having it for, i don't know, two whole weeks.
fanfuckingtastic. no sense of accomplishment on either front. just a whole lot of FAILURE. i'm never going to graduate. so embarrassing.
i'm going to take a nap now or maybe watch some TV and hate on life some more...b/c i get to look forward to getting my shitty score in november and then taking the bar again in february. |
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| westlaw status check |
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| 12:25am 21/07/2008 |
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mood: peaceful music: Tom Lehrer - Silent E
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everything's arrived, except for the magic bullet and the scale. i wonder if there's some way to use all of the things i got at the same time? probably a big stupid accident waiting to happen...
i wanted to make gazpacho this weekend, but that didn't happen. i did purchase black fingernail polish, bocaburgers, and alfalfa sprouts yesterday. i wonder if supermarket checkers ever look closely at the items customers buy. i mean, i generally have a good amount of organic and healthy-ish products and i like the soy, but then i also succumb to the giant family size bag of baked lays and every now and then, cheddarwurst. nah, they probably have better things to do. |
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